i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
