Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
