so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
