Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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