Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
