Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i was born a porn star she said
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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