He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
