We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
