I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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