Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize