Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
id be glad to
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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