i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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