Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
