We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
