It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
