I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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