He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
