the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
