so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
