just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
