Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize