she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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