Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Randomize
