I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
