You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize