Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
