Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
