Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
