Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
