that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
