Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
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If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER