She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.