and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now