U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
