Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
