So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry