I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.