I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
