i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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