I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize