i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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