im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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