what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
