My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
