I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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