I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
