I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
