Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
