Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
