i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
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I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dick very happy bro
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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