i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
