They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
