dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize