Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
