I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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