gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it because I queefed?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
