Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
