So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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