Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
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