I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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