btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
